Edible Happyness: I Baklava You: My Cousin and I Bake Greek Pastries

This is my lovely cousin Helen.

Today, my cousin Helen is guest starring to help me make something super weird and exotic because she is super weird and exotic. Her instructions/comments will be in this font and mine will be normal.

Baklava is basically like pastry lasagna and all you really have to do is chop some nuts and layer some dough. Don't forget to preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Celsius! Just kidding.

For this recipe you will need:

1 package phyllo dough (found in the frozen dessert section of grocery stores)
1 package nut of your choice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
A LOT OF BUTTER

For the glaze you will need:

1 cup water
1 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup honey

I chopped the nuts because I'm super weird and exotic.

The very first thing you're going to do is finely chop your nuts. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah..

Okay I'm not a thirteen year old boy. Finely chop whatever nuts you are using for this recipe, as shown above. We used walnuts and they were great. Place the nuts in a large bowl and toss with the teaspoon of cinnamon. This step also doubles as Cosmo Sex Tip #24.

Now comes the weird part, as if this already wasn't weird enough. We are going to use phyllo dough, which is essentially paper that is rolled up in a box. So be veeeeerrrryyy careful unrolling it, because you don't want it to rip.

It could also be used as a veil for your wedding.

Give your husband a reason to marry you.

After greasing a regular sized cake pan, place one sheet of the dough in the pan and then smother it with butter like a lonely mother smothers her child with love and cookies. Continue to do this until you have eight layers done or your son runs away from home.

Look at Helen butter that dough. I'm so proud of her.

I just want to warn you now that this may give you diabetes.

Can you get diabetes from butter?

I don't know, ask Paula Deen. Wait...

Note: Paula Deen is in no way associated with Edible Happyness, me, or my blog.

Anyway, after you've layered and buttered eight sheets, sprinkle 2-3 Tablespoons of the nut mixture on top.

If you look closely, you can see the Grim.

Once you've sprinkled on the nuts, lay down two more sheets and butter the top, then add another sprinkle of nuts. Continue to do this until you run out of nuts or butter or energy. It's pretty rigorous. Once you're out of one of those things, however, you're going to layer another sheet of phyllo dough and butter it, layer another sheet of phyllo dough and butter it, layer another sheet of phyllo dough and butter it, layer another sheet of phyllo dough and butter it, do you understand yet? Do this eight times.

I still don't get it!

Too bad. Now we will cut the baklava into pretty shapes. Which I don't get. I'm spatially challenged.

Cut the baklava into four vertical strips. That means cut three times. In case you don't understand. Then cut diagonally in one direction, and then diagonally in the other direction. It's not that hard. You can do this, comrade.

It's like the dessert of the future. In the present.

Now this beautiful piece of work is going to be put in the oven for fifty minutes. The dough puffs up and turns golden brown and crispy.

Our next step is to make the honey glaze!

On medium heat, combine water and sugar. Stir them occasionally until sugar is dissolved. Don't do this:

I may have underestimated the distance

between the fridge and the measuring cup.

When the water and sugar have combined, stir in the vanilla and honey. Once it is all mixed up, turn on low heat and let it simmer for about twenty minutes.