A Lemon and an Egg Walk Into a Bar: I Write Apathetically About Lemon Bars

I don't know why but I am in an incredibly uninteresting mood and this post is as boring as a post. Wait. 

Anyway, I'm sorry if it's not clever but at the very least it's functional.

This plate contains approximately 100 calories per bar.

As I've said before, I'm trying to eat healthier. As I've also said before, it's a little difficult eating healthy and also blogging about delicious treats. But! Fear not. Because I've found this wonderful recipe for super healthy lemon bars. In just one bar, there's only 100 calories, 17g carbohydrates, and 3g fat. ISN'T THAT AMAZING???? 

At the very least, it's not bad for sort of healthy snack. Plus it doesn't take very long to make.

For the crust:

• 3/4 cup flour
• 3 Tablespoons sugar
• 1/2 stick butter

For the lemon batter:

• 1 egg
• 1 egg white
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 2 Tablespoons flour
• 1/4 teaspoon lemon zest
• 2 Tablespoons lemon juice
• 1 Tablespoon water
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• powdered sugar to taste

First, preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Alright, so possibly the most important thing you will ever do in your life is properly coat the pan you're going to bake these lemon bars in. If you don't, the rest of your life could be miserable and disappointing. Or you'll just have a tough time getting them out of the pan. I use butter, but you can also use cooking spray or vegetable shortening.

You're going to mix together the flour and sugar first, and then cut up the butter into cubes. The best way to do this is as follows:

Cut into strips.

Cut strips in half on the top, and then on the side.

Enjoy your butter cubes.

Remember when we made a pie together? And you used your fork to mix in the butter until it was all crumbly?

Well I hope you do remember, because we're about to do that again! Slowly mash the butter in with the sugar and flour.

It's like we're making a pie.

But we're not really making a pie.

Pour this concoction into the pan, and press it around evenly with your fingers. I don't have anything clever to say here just do it.

A lot of the things I bake end up looking like sand.

Place the pan into the oven for ten minutes and then set aside. 

And noooow we move on to the lemon batter! This is the fun part that smells like you're cleaning the shower.

In a the same bowl, whisk together 1 egg and 1 egg white. Remember when you separated the egg white and yolk for the pie? Just do the same thing. Maybe this post is so boring because there aren't really any new skills to learn for it. Whisk the eggs together until they are bubbly and frothy.

  We could also make egg drop soup.

Once your eggs are mixed up, mix in the sugar, flour, water, and baking powder. Now, this is where it gets interesting. Maybe. Probably not. I don't know.

You're gonna zest a lemon! Isn't zest a fun word? This is a fun post because I'm using the word zest. Zest zest zest! Be entertained! 

If you don't have a lemon zester, you can use a cheese grater and it is basically the same thing. To zest a lemon, hold the zester over a plate/bowl and put pressure on the lemon as you move it back and forth. It takes a bit of effort to get enough lemon zest for the bars (you need about 1/4 of a teaspoon), but I promise it's worth it!

Every Villain Is Lemons

Once you've zested the lemon enough, you're still not done! Squeeze enough juice out of the lemon to fill up 2 Tablespoons. The most effective way to do this is to squeeze the lemon until it can't be squeezed anymore, and then pop it in the microwave for about ten seconds, and squeeze it even more.

Mix in the lemony goodness, and then whisk to your hearts content or until the batter is nice and thick.

This is what it should look like.

Even my photo captions aren't funny. I don't know what's

wrong with me.

Pour the mixture evenly into the pan and bake for 15 minutes or until the batter is thick and lemon bar-ey. Once it is finished, let it cool in the refrigerator for about an hour and then sprinkle on as much powdered sugar as you like.

Let the deliciousness of these lemon bars distract you

from the boringness of this post.

You made lemon bars!! I'm so proud. I promise I'll be more interesting next time. I love you all.